Resident Resources

When a disagreement turns to personal insults, raised voices, or mocking tones, the conversation is no longer productive. Be careful to focus on the problem without placing blame on your roommate. If a disagreement becomes personal, you should pause the conversation.

Oftentimes during arguments we focus on getting our own point across rather than listening to your roommate. Before responding to your roommate, restate what they have said to you in your own words. Continue this process until your roommate agrees that you understand. Next, share your side. Your roommate should reflect back your ideas in their own words until they too understand. Using this technique will help both individuals feel listened to and understood, even if you disagree.

When sharing a concern, begin your sentence with “I”. For example: “I feel hurt when you don’t tell me you’ll be late”. With this sentence format we show that we are taking responsibility for our own emotion rather than blaming our roommate. The alternative sentence- “You never tell me when you’re going to be late”-will often cause a roommate to become defensive.

When you and your roommate are becoming argumentative, insulting, or aggressive, it’s a good idea to take a time-out. Have a plan in place so you or your roommate can call for a break when needed. Spend some time doing something alone that you find relaxing. When you’ve both calmed down you and your roommate can return to solving the problem. Be sure that you do return-it isn’t a good idea to leave these issues unaddressed.

Disagreement is a normal part of a relationship. If it becomes clear that you and your roommate will not agree, focus on a resolution instead. Try to find a compromise that benefits both individuals. Ask yourself if this disagreement really matters to your relationship, and let yourself move on if not.

From TherapistAid.com

Professional staff in the Office of Student Life review the information from the CARE report and work to coordinate support for the student to ensure their well-being and success, or initiate the student conduct process when a complaint is made. Members of the Western community can share a concern or make a complaint, and we require contact information in case we need additional or verifying information.

If you need to report an emergency, do not use this form but instead call University Police at 360-650-3911, or dial 911. If you wish to report a crime, please contact these same numbers.

If you wish to report incidents of possible bias, discrimination or harassment, including incidents such as graffiti or anonymous phone calls where the perpetrator is unknown, you should do so through the Equal Opportunity Office at Western using this form: http://www.wwu.edu/eoo/bias-incident-response.shtml